Now I'm not bashing salads here or fat people. I'm bashing the people who go out to restaurants with friends then say, "Oh, I'm on a diet so I think I'm going to have a Caeser salad." Really now? You plan to lose weight by pounding down a bowl of lettuce drenched in every sauce known to man, 3 different types of cheese, chicken, and croutons? Well, good luck with that. Then there's the people who aren't food-savvy enough to make a caeser salad at home and just settle for a salad made with so much mayo and salad dressing, it looks like the aftermath of a splooge-fest. Look at the images at the bottom of the page. I don't know what the hell that crap looks like, but it sure doesn't look like food unless you happen to be reading this blog from a brothel or a prison.Finally, there's a salad that fat people hold dear to their heart (which is going to explode soon). This 2000 calorie salad boggles the human mind. It even manages to use every food group known to man in greater quantities than what actually belongs in a salad. This, my friends, is the taco salad. Look at it in all its heart clogging glory! Fat people will be sure to say, "But, Guacamole, it's a salad - It's GOTTA be healthy. Look there's some leaves underneath the huge mound of ground beef - cheese conglomerate." To that, I simply shake my head and die on the inside as sure enough they grab the salad dressing to add some sour cream to what's left of their salad.
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