Implodicon Award: Lil Wayne

In stark contrast to our Explodicon Awards, which are a recognition of the pinnacle of human achievement, we have our Implodicon Awards. To win an Implodicon Award is to prove yourself the lowest of the low, what's left after the dregs, and most likely a rap artist. 

Congratulations, Lil Wayne. You've done the impossible and outdone 50 Cent as the worst rapper of all time and hereby given the first ever Implodicon award.

Let's take a look at some of your lyrics

"A millionaire, I'm a young money millionaire

Tougher than Nigerian hair
My criteria compared to your career just isn't fair
I'm a venereal disease
Like a menstrual—bleed"

Wow, where to start? You're tougher than Nigerian hair? Do you know what Nigerian hair looks like? PUBES! You're a venereal disease? Is that a metaphor for how popular you are?

"Cause I don't write shit, cause I ain't got time" 

I think you misspoke here. What you mean is "Cause I can't write for shit, cause I ain't got talent"

"Call me what you want bitch

Call me on my Sidekick
Never answer when it's private
Damn I hate a shy bitch
Don't you hate a shy bitch?
Yeah I ate a shy bitch
She ain't shy no more, she changed her name to my bitch
Yeah nigga, that's my bitch
So when she ask for the money when you through don't be surprised, bitch"

 I think the problem here is that you must have sleeped through a crucial lesson phonics class. You can't rhyme bitch with bitch. You could say "Damn I hate a shy bitch, my dick has got a nasty itch" See, that's because itch and bitch rhyme. Bitch and bitch don't rhyme. 

"And I be the shit, now you got loose bowels

I don't owe you like two vowels
But I would like for you to pay me by the hour"

You know what kind of people charge by the hour? Whores. 

This is all in addition to the constant repetition of A Millie over and over again in the background. I guess Lil Wayne couldn't hire Timbaland for some real beats. (Disclaimer: Explodicon does not approve of Timbaland or his beats. Timbaland is in fact a jackass)