Welcome to part 5 of Things Destroying the Fabric of the Universe. Today we will talk about bikers! Yeah those super fat guys who look like they're inches away from a stroke or heart attack with enough tatoo ink to fill a box of papermate pens. I have no idea why these guys do what they do. What I do know is they look ridiculous doing it. Most of them drive on the shittiest motorbikes known to man with mufflers so loud they wake up poor malnourished chinese children in the next hemisphere.
Furthermore, most of them look like they wandered out of a viking re-enactment play with their bandanas and homeless-guy style beard. If these guys wanted to be taken seriously as hard-core criminals they should consider investing in real merchandise like an upgrade to thier motorbikes. I bet if they were rolling on Ducati motorbikes in Armani suits while packing uzis people would actually take them seriously and not just roll their eyes when they pass the donut shop with 30 overweight bikers hobbling around like beached walruses. Instead of "Oh there's gramps - he's kind
of senile and we just like to let him out to play on his motorbike so he feels like he's still contributing to society and he thinks people still respect him.", people would go "Holy CRAP there's those crazy bikers - don't look them straight in the eye or they'll come over here with their super fast ducatis and rape us in the face!" And if I see any bikers wearing Armani on Ducatis tomorrow, I'm definitely going to ask they at least digg this blog for jacking my ideas.
1 comments:
What the fuc* are you talking about you moron??? I bet you've never rode something similar to a chopper or cruiser motorcycle, and that's why you're talking bullshit. Those people know how to feel a real freedom, the one you'll never be able to feel while sitting in your parent's basement, jerking off and watching low quality porno movies. And the sport bike you've posted is also something you can only dream of you pathetic bastard, I feel sorry for you!
Post a Comment