Keeping it real with Ol Man Jenkinz: Fauxhawks

Hello my young parsons it is I, Old man Jenkinz, or as the younglings like to call me Ol man Jenkinz. In my first column I will talk about all the new doodads in todays society. Today I will bring up Fauxhawks, now what kind of haircut is that!? For those of you who don't know fauxhawks look like: 

Now i'm confused as to why any of you hipsters would want to look like a rooster or any other bird. I for one will never get 

any haircut even remotely resembling this. If i wanted to look like a freak i'd walk down to the local costume shop and pick out something. 

Back in my day we had real haircuts, things like the bowl cut, a simple taper, the caesar, or the ultra popular businessman cut. Now those were the style, when you walked down the street everyone knew that you were a man and not some freak whose brain got replaced with that of a roosters. 

Enough with my ranting I think I am going to go and watch the history channel.